Friday, September 28, 2007

Please pray for little Maddie

We pause for a life sucks moment.

My daughter does a lot of online glitz photo contests, and we get to know quite a few folks over the internet and all over the country.

There is one contest we do alot in particular, because the lady runs it well, she's very nice, her fees are reasonable and she gives away build a bear prizes, of which Gizmo has won a couple. Each time this lady lets her youngest daughter go and pick out the bear and the clothes for the prize to mail to the winner with a special note. Then she'll post a picture of the child with their prize in her winners log.

This little girl was involved in a terrible car crash today - a teenager was texting and not paying attention and Maddie was in the back seat and took the worst part of the crash. She is in serious condition.

This is just horrible!!!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Gratuitous AD day!!!

I'm going to buy 10!!!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

We pause for a whiny brat moment.

I have a confession to make.

I desperately want to be liked.

I envy people who have lots and lots of friends... I still long to be a popular kid.
If I had people come by and hang on weekends around the house to keep us company, I think I would be so much happier. I think I carry around a lot of baggage from being at the bottom of the social food chain in high school... I mean, for crying out loud, I DID go to my senior prom on a blind date. It sucks being a geek.

But I married a social recluse, and although I try really hard to make and keep friendships, it seems like I'm never going to achieve my life's goal to have people to really go do things with. We used to have a couple we would go on vacation with occasionally, but when Doug died of cancer my husband just sort of gave up on finding anyone else to hang with. And his wife and I had nothing in common at all to try and keep a relationship going. She was nice, but she never wanted to do anything.

I have a "best" friend, who calls me often and enthusiastically on the phone with all her news and trials and tribulations, but when I go to visit her she ignores me for her local friends (she literally turns away from me and talks to them and doesn't let me get a word in edgewise.) I took my daughter down to visit her this summer and although she is a teacher, she seemed perpetually annoyed with my daughter, and got mad when I asked if we could fix some popcorn (around 8:30 one evening) for Gizmo and I because she and the "babies" (her two dogs, had a bedtime to keep. Geez, we only visit once a year. I mean she tells me about going out to dinner with her friends and going to the movies etc. but when I suggested we all go to dinner and a movie she curtly replied "I'm so not interested...." Or if I suggest we go visit this or that she looks at me in disdain "I am NOT a tourist" Yet, I say nothing. Although I did feign not feeling well so we could cut our trip a little bit short, she didn't really seem to mind and then made all nice. She could make a little bit of effort if she really cares about our friendship. But maybe that's why she's 38 and still whining that she can't find a man.... (she hasn't had a boyfriend since college.)

I wish I had another mom with kids I could call and say "let's go to six flags today!" Or, let's go to the mall! Or, come over and have lunch. But I guess we're all kinda caught up in the day to day of things and we have our own families to harrass and hang with... Even when I go to birthday parties and meet other mothers I kind of feel uncomfortable because I don't even think the same way they do. They talk about worrying about their kids being too worldly, or the teachers not giving enough homework, or how they don't like ChuckECheese because it's too loud inside.
I don't worry about Giz being too worldly - how can she be worldly taking the dog for a walk, going to pageants, going skiing and roller skating and to the pottery place or going grocery shopping.... and I don't want her to burn out on homework in kindergarten.... and I don't mind ChuckECheese or Monkey Joe's or Six Flags... I love to rollerskate and I love to ride rollercoasters and I can ski and I want to try other things too... Aren't there any other mom's out there like Me???

I'm sure it's overrated. But I haven't felt well this week and I'm wallowing in my own self pity. I'll get over it. Maybe. (Although one of the guys on my team did give me a cookie Monday - Macadamia/Cranberry - and for a little while I WAS truly cheered up :o)

Okay. I know I'm whining. But only a few people read my blog anyway, and they don't seem to be all up in the air about me being one of those social outkast battle-ax stagemothers.

I know they'll understand.


Saturday, September 22, 2007

Dissed at the Disco - Part 2

Ah.... Now where was I??

Gizmo was wonderful in outfit of choice, and knowing she really didn't have the clothes to win casual wear, I let HER pick out her music. She picked a really bouncy tune "Jump" by Jump 5 - but I figured if she was happy, she'd smile like she needed too. And she did. But she gets sooooo bouncy she looks a bit of a train wreck in her modeling when she needs to just slow down and take it easy. But, all things considered, it's all about her and she should have some creative liberty. Even if she is only 5.

Last but not least, moving on to Disco Wear. No, we didn't have custom mixed music (but I AM trying to learn Audacity now LOL) but yes, Giz had worked her lil' fanny off practicing and I was pretty confident she would do her best.

She did not disappoint me.

I get tickled after the last event at any pageant because although she's really good about the hair, and the makeup, and the nails, and the lashes etc. once that last deal is done, you blink twice and it looks like a mannequin murder scene. Pop, pop, pop. Off go the nails. UUUUHHHHHH Youch! There goes the fall. Off go the lashes... It's really quite funny. Then she hands it all to me in a wad - I am SO done Mommy! Let's go swimming now??

Of course!

Definition of Eternity = from the time you are done on Saturday until crowning on Sunday morning.

Getting out of a hotel on Sunday morning during a pageant is really tough when you don't have help. Albeit we had friends staying with us and we could pinch hit looking after kids while we loaded up the car, it's still really difficult when they are little. They want to run and play and wander etc. when you really, really REALLY need them to be a little clingy.

Anyway. They had a wonderful Disco party before crowning and they gave the kids these light up Disco glasses and glow necklaces and all the kids got to dance onstage - thus burning off some energy before having to sit still and deal with their nervous mothers for the crowning event.

So they called the 0-3 groups - a lot of predictable winners but since I didn't get to watch those age groups I really couldn't tell how they were going... So it wasn't too long before the 4-8 divisions were called.

Now it is important ya'll know that although I love doing pageants with my daughter I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE crowning. In case you weren't clear, I HATE it. I'm pretty sure one of these days I'm just going to puke and spew everywhere out of nerves. I've even been told by others that I actually look like it too. Oh well. They started calling side awards - I didn't enter Gizmo in any of the additional optional events (I have to economize some) besides casual wear so she had to watch kids get prizes for Natural photogenic, Composite, and a 2nd outfit of choice. But now they were getting down to business with the core events. Second runner up in photogenic. Good. Second runner up in Disco Wear (I personally thought she was the best, but HEY I'm not the judge....LOL) then side awards - best hair? NO .... best dress? NO.... Most beautiful? they gave like 6 places and she didn't even place. It's about this time I am not getting a good feeling.... 5th RU - went to a child where obviously she and her mother had no clue about National pageants. 4th RU - Gizmo SIGH. Might as well have been dead last. And she noticed this time she didn't get a crown! Quick! Damage Control!!! We stayed onstage until the last beauty winner was called with me distracting her the rest of the time and whisking her off stage. WHEW.


Definition of Forever - having to wait until all of crowning is over to talk to the judges.

Now, losing wasn't so bad, but here's what I got wrapped around the axle about:

Gizmo effectively got a zero for facial beauty on her scoresheets.


...well, maybe she IS ugly in the eye of the judges and I'm not terribly objective.

I got in line, trying desperately to be settled and patient. Really trying. Honest! So I get up in line to the table and finally it's my turn. I looked at the three beauty judges and said "Look. Don't tell me how beautiful and great my daughter is..." I hate when they say that - it's patronizing especially when your kid didn't do well "...don't patronize me and BS me that my daughter is all that when she came in almost dead last...." One of the judges wouldn't even look at me. She literally had her face in her hand. "I want to know what your thinking was on her scores." Well the male judge effectively stated that he gave her a low facial score because he didn't like her dress. He preferred pastels he purred in his most girly voice. I was fine until then really. Now I'm really, REALLY, reallyreallyreallyreally PISSED.

If he had told me that he just thought my kid was ugly and he wasn't into her, I would have had some respect for him. Have some balls dammit. But to dock my child's facial score, which is a totally separate score from Overall Appearance (where his disdain for my daughter's dress should have been reflected) was competely irresponsible. I could no longer contain myself. Now, I did not swear. I did not raise my voice. I did not resort to insults or name calling. But if pastel dresses were a requirement, it should have been in the paperwork, right? A respectable judge should judge how the dress compliments the child regardless of his or her preference in color. If they want to reflect an issue with attire it should be in the overall appearance score, or attire score if one is used.

Well, as it turned out the two little girls who made 3rd and 2nd runner up respectively (and oh, btw there were like nine kids in the group with 2 pulling supremes and two group titles) he did the same thing to. He effectively knocked these three girls out of the running for ANYTHING because he didn't like bright color dresses. Which is, in my opinion, bullshit. :o) Besides, my daughter does not do well in pastels overall because they tend to wash her out.

In Disco wear two judges gave Gizmo perfect scores across the board. But one judge expressed that Giz was "looking" at a coach for cues. My daughter can tend to look at me occaisionally, but in Disco wear this time, she most certainly, did not. Would not. I even tried to get her attention and she was so into what she was doing she never paid me any mind at all (should have in a couple of places...maybe LOL.) So I knew right off this judge had written us off and not really watched my baby. Because if she did, her notes should have read that Gizmo stumbled on part of her back X - and I would have definitely understood if she took off for that.

In my opinion, judges should watch a child the entire time she is on stage. They should judge whether or not the clothes work for that child. They should judge the modeling according to the age and abilities of the age group. Anything else (i.e. judging low due to personal color preference) shows NO respect for my daughter's time and hard work, and it shows NO respect for MY money. I am a paying (and lord knows in pageants you PAY....) customer, and that's what I expect - since we don't get a "product" in return, I expect good service from the pageant directors and the judges. We pay for them to be there, our kids give them their best, and we deserve THEIR best effort in return. Not bullshit I'm lazy and don't want to make any effort to truly judge your child so I'll use dress color to make my decisions.

Now when I got home, and finally received the DVD of the pageant, I told myself that maybe the judges DID see things I did not, and I promised myself I would be objective in my review of not only my daughter's performance, but the other children's.

I stand by my opinions. The kids who won, hardly smiled. The kids who did not DID. Gizmo had Disco wear in my opinion still. Did she model as well or better than the others in Casual wear. Yes. Did she outsmile all of them. Absolutely. Did her clothes hurt her? Yes.

So now what?

We are getting Gizmo with a new coach. Not because our old one was doing anything wrong, but maybe another coach could see what she/we did not. There's always room for improvement, AND you never know, another technique might be just the thing she needs.

She is getting all new clothes and we are trying different seamstresses/designers. All I can say to that is OUCH.

We took a little "break" to practice new routines and get our heads together.

We're not quitters. Maybe we'll never be able to win this game, but as long as she wants to do it, and we do what we can afford, and she's making a real effort, we'll give it the old college try.

(It would be nice if a millionaire sponsor would show up LOLOL)

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


I know my hiatus was a bit extended, but I have excuses! Really.

Excuse #3

We got a dog.

We didn't intend to get a dog, it just sort of happened. Weird as it was. In late July after a very rough couple of weeks of work, I finally got to steal some time at the nail salon (after threatening my husband if he didn't pick up the kids and give me a break I was going to start breaking things!!!) I had turned my cell phone off to ensure peace and quiet, I wasn't about to interrupt my evening with silly things like emergencies...

So I finish up at the nail salon (after they pryed me screaming and kicking from the pedicure massage chair) and turned my cell on upon returning to my vehicle. BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!

10 Messages

Now I know I'm right popular but 10 messages???

All ten were from hubby - CALL ME!!! NOW!!!!

"We have an incident here" he states in troubled tones.

So now I'm thinking, either someone is injured... My parents are on the warpath again... the house is burning down.....

"We have a puppy."


It was kinda like getting the news of an unexpected pregnancy. Are we ready? Do we want to take on this kind of responsibility? Can we afford it?? WHAT the heck kind of dog could it be????


I grabbed some puppy chow on the way home, barreling home to see what on EARTH he was talking about. Oh, and some serious flea shampoo was ordered up too.

When I got home Gizmo ran up from the basement "He is sooooo CUTE!" she gasped emphatically! "THE cuuuutest dog - EVER!!.... you have just got. to. see. HIM!!!!"
Then I had to teach Giz to breathe again before going any further.

Oh-kay. Doh-kay.

Down I go to see this major infringement upon my life.

Oh bother. He's adorable, albeit not in very good condition. Looks to be a cocker mix puppy with possibly the most mournful face I have EVER seen since the Ethiopian Famine Charity ads.
What am I going to do? Pry him from Gizmo's cold dead hands and drag him to the shelter???
Hell no. I can be tough, but geez I AM human. But the giant fleas definitely had to GO.

So how did this come about??? Well, we live out in the country and our neighborhood is notorious for drive by drop offs of unwanted animals. Thank goodness the guy with the pet lion down the road didn't ever think to dump anything... (oh yeah, we live in we're too stupid to breathe but we're armed and have weird pets country...) Anyway, it's usually cats and they don't hang around too long. I can't tell you how much money I've spent feeding transients and bears.

But I digress.

When Gizmo and Hubby got home (Firstborn by the way was off at camp that week) apparently this puppy was hunkered down under our truck just-a crying away. As far as we can surmise, someone must have seen the little girl's bike on our porch and dumped the wee tike. A puppy that small can-NoT survive the trek from one house to another in our neighborhood (esp in his starving and flea-bitten condition) so best we can guess is they just put him out in our driveway. Bastards. But lucky for him, since Gizmo had been praying for a puppy for awhile, divine intervention kinda got in the way of us taking a hard hearted approach.

"Oh we've been sent a puppy!!!" "I found him! I'm his MOMMY!!!" Oh bless his heart.

I voted to put up "lost puppy" signs, but within two hours my husband stated "if they wanted him, let THEM put up signs...." I think pup pretty much suckered him right from the get-go...
By the next morning, hubby had named him. The vote was unanimous.

We call him "BOO!" Cause he was such a surprise and caught us all way off guard.

At least he doesn't eat much. Yet.

I'd post a pic, but dunno how. If anyone can advise as to how, I'll put one up. TIA as they say!

(Pictures courtesy of Dave & Mommasworld helping me out getting them uploaded!!!)


Saturday, September 15, 2007

Food for thought

Okay, Okay.

I've been told to get my sorry ass back in gear, that there are some folks out there who are pining away missing laughing at my expense (and they would like "the rest of the story")

I missed ya'll too.

Food for thought....

You know it's bad when you offer to cook supper (talking on the phone to hubby who was stuck late on a job) and your 13 and 5 year old join forces to start taking up a collection in the back seat of the car for any change they can scrounge up so you can all eat out.


Oh!! And look what showed up in my mailbox!!

Hello Pageant Mom,
My name is Kimberly Newman and I am an Associate producer at "The Montel Williams Show" in New York. We are having an upcoming show focusing on young beauty queens and I ran across your blog and thoroughly enjoyed it. I would love to speak to you further so please contact me when you receive this. Thanks and have a lovely day!

Should I bite??

Bad parent example #6,922

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