PROM SEASON

Ah Spring! It changes the whole "eat out" perspective, because now, in addition to having a nice meal out you get the entertainment value from seeing the local kids in their finest attire out for the PROM.

I always get a little twitchy when it comes to the whole subject. Being a geek and all in high school, it might go without saying, that although I made three attempts to get to the prom and have a good time....

It never went very well.

Attempt #1


In my high school, one of the BIG status symbols was to get asked to the prom (and actually go...) as a freshman or sophomore. So my best friend and I set out to get ourselves to the prom any way we could. Now never mind that after the boy with the car showed up at my house when I was in eighth grade and caused an incident of such epic proportion with my father that no boy with any sense within 625 miles of my house would dare even pass me a stick of gum underneath a jail cell door... TWas not enough of a problem to daunt my attempt to GET TO THE PROM.

Needless to say, I wasn't exactly the most dicerning when came to getting someone, ANYONE, to take me and neither was my friend.

Do the words BIG MISTAKE mean anything????

Well, considering I didn't think this through very well, there was a boy in my typing class that showed some interest in taking me. Good enough, I figured. I go to the prom, he has a date and avoids complete and utter social disaster, everybody wins. He was a junior, I a sophomore.

To sum up the guy - imagine David Spade's gay cosmic geek twin with braces.

Everything was fine until I agreed to go to the prom.

"How do I run from thee, let me count the ways...."

Here is the conversation I heard:

HIM "Will you go to the prom with me?"
Me "Okay"

What HE heard:

HIM "Will you go to the prom with me and love me forever and let me follow you around like a sick puppy for weeks on end??"
ME "I Love You. You are my hero and I want you to be my boyfriend"

Now, either I was the first girl to give him the time of day (much less a date) OR he was really, really, not that picky about who he would attach his affection too.

No matter how acerbic my responses to his existence, he remained, well, undaunted.

I got Cards. Flowers. Candy.

To make matters worse, he sat right directly in front of me in typing class, so when he was finished, he would turn around and watch me longingly (don't EVEN go there...)

Well, after 3 months of dodging loverboy and still keeping the delicate balance in place between keeping him at bay and not losing my prom ticket, the big day came.

So I and my equally unpicky about her date friend asked the guys if they wouldn't mind double dating. Thankfully, they complied. Oh and if the eighties weren't bad enough, our dates had the whole powder blue tux that matched our dresses thing going on.... So my friend and I spent most of the evening tittering and chattering on and on and on and on.... ANYTHING to distract, disturb, or deflect any interaction between us and our dates.

Now, before you get all irritated about our behaviour.

We were fifteen year old girls. And all would have been well, had these guys not taken our acceptance of a prom date as the first step towards some sort of future matrimonial engagement!!!

Needless to say, we bolted from the car (both retreating to my house) and politely waved good-nite as sweetly and remotely as possible.

Karma baby, Karma. Don't think it didn't come back on us.

My next attempt at the prom was worse.

Can you say BLIND DATE???

To be continued...