Just a deranged lunatic!!

Well well well, if the media hasn't once again reveled in trying to make pageant moms look like a bunch of deranged lunatics... My husband and son like to watch "Bones" - a pretty formulaic crime show currently on prime time; and tonight's episode involved the death of a pageant contestant...As the main characters study the body they were horrified that a child had on makeup, and tooth veneers etc. "What sick pervert would give his victim a makeover before killing her..." stated one of the characters. Turns out the child was killed at a pageant (accidentally it appears but then an attempted cover up by a competitor also a child) thus explaining the "makeover." I didn't watch the show thoroughly (no attention span for tv) but in the intermittent parts I watched...I'd like to share some observations.

- Pageants are much less and much worse than portrayed on tv
- It's a common theme among detractors that pageant mom's have somehow "robbed" their children of a childhood
- We're all sick f**ks that should be carted out and shot

I don't think any self-respecting dentist would put veneers on a child as represented on the show (maybe in Hollywood but I don't want to apply any assumptions back.) Normally, the girls wear "flippers" - a cosmetic dental appliance that goes over the natural teeth for a more complete smile which is only worn for very brief periods. Probably started out just to give girls with missing or small teeth an even advantage, and of course went haywire from there.

I'm also trying to figure out what I've robbed my child of that is so necessary for "childhood." Is the fact that she's worn fake eyelashes by the age of 5 made her somehow jaded and world weary? I thought that was reserved for abused children and victims of war. Of course in the eyes of some folks, pageants are child abuse... In the show tonight, one of the characters sadly acknowledged that "childhood was full of swings..."and something else along those lines which I can't remember but the jist of it was "oh the poor kid" as if she was a prostitute or something... Another blogger I came across attended a pageant and all but called the babies "whores" from what she saw... now how does someone get off calling a little girl a "whore" or a similar reference because she wears makeup in what's basically "competition dress up." A completely misguided and irresponsible reaction - but she was entitled to her opinion and I'm okay with that just not the reference. She could have stated that she just didn't like it. I could have called her a "bitch", and that would have been an opinion, but I'm not like that and I didn't think of her that way - I simply assumed she just didn't know any better and she was drumming up interesting reading for her blog. I've noticed when you put a little sanity on pageants, nobody is interested in talking about them anymore. Anyway! The biggest problem I've seen so far is that pageantry has given my lil Gizmo a little TOO much confidence. I'll talk about why I call her Gizmo in another blog, but it relates to sugar, red dye and a parallel to the movie "Gremlins."

What I do see my daughter has that a lot of other kids her age (she's 4) don't:

1) she can sit still when necessary - this is not only an important skill for having hair and makeup done, but is useful in polite restaurants, church, public transportation and school
This is often a point that horrifies pageant detractors - how DARE we make them sit still for 15 min to get h/m done - shouldn't they be running around? hmmm lemmee think about the other 23 hours and 45 minutes remaining in the day - Gosh, what on earth am I thinking??

2) she can follow directions - useful not only for stage routines, but direction in school functions, learning other new skills, and perhaps listening to mom before running out in the street

3) she has the concept of "practice" - that if you work to be good at something you can get results - now don't start in on me before considering tee ball, suzuki violin students, and dance schools etc. and hey! I'll bet Tiger Woods is sooooo mad at his father for teaching him to practice golf starting at the age of 18 months; yes, I'm sure he just HATEs his dad for that ;o)

4) she has FUN - nothing more, nothing less. If she doesn't learn a damn thing from pageants, she has great memories of pajama parties in the hotel rooms, swimming with her friends, eating out at lots of restaurants, and the excitement of "SHOW TIME" getting all dolled up in her fancy outfits etc.

5) Her experiences have made her very articulate verbally. So much so, that because she is tall for her age, and she speaks so well, most folks think she is 6 instead of 4.

I think it's also funny that pageant detractors often use the argument that pageants are about "competition" and that somehow competition is "bad." I think competition is bad based on how it is dealt with. Threatening to kill and dismember your competition is BAD. Focusing on improving your game to try and win over your competition is GOOD. (just to set relative perspective.) And if you don't think some kids come out of the womb wanting to compete, have you ever watched a group of pre-schoolers fight over who gets to be the "line leader" just to go to lunch??? I also think competion is bad if you place the child's worth up to their ability to win. You can't do that when there are factors outside of your control (judges opinions.) What's frustrating is when they don't live up to their potential. For example, my son brought home a "B" in Science from school - I CHEWED HIM OUT. Not because he made a "B" though. Had he struggled and fought for that "B" I would have been so proud I would burst. But here's what he got to make up the "B" : Quiz average 99.8, Tests average 93.8, Homework 53.7????????? WTF???? He just didn't do it in some cases. He forgot. Whatever. The fact is it ALL counts and he just didn't make any effort. So I didn't get mad because he made a "B" I got upset because he THREW AWAY an "A." And the same thing applies to pageants. If my daughter does her best and doesn't place - whatever, the judges weren't in to her and she'll learn that sometimes even your best won't do - that's LIFE. (I work for a large International company, and there are some really great folks that get overlooked for promotion compared to some world class butt-kissers.) But if she just doesn't try, then I will be disappointed - IF pageants continue to be her thing.

I don't care if there are folks that want to jump to conclusions and judge me as just another deranged lunatic, I just call it like I see it.

Another tale from the dark side....