Okay, well Ms.Brilliant here again. I'm so tired I could sleep on the driveway with the neighbor's dogs for pillows. Today, I decided to find out what all the hoopla was about "Black Friday".
Well, I figured it out. Half the people go out to find the 1/1,000,000 deal. The others just go to watch and buy crap they didn't intend to. Not sure which category I fit into, might be obvious to you guys in internetland.
I didn't even start out right - I just couldnotgetout of bed at 4:30. I don't even think a piledriver coming through the window would have worked either. So I was late. LA DE DA. So I thought. I left the house at 5:25am feeling pretty smug that all my neighbor's dark houses were the result of massively poor planning on their part and that I was the smarty pants of Wereallinthewitnessprotectionprogram Boulevard. Yeah right - rookie!!! No traffic on the way out to Target. 'This is going to be a big piece of cake' I thought. Miles 1-3 - no traffic. Miles 4-8 - even less traffic. Miles 8-finish line..... round the corner....
OMG!!!!!!! Now, it's pretty shocking for somebody as smart as me to get smacked in the head with a "oh no you're NOT so smart" moment (I seem to have a lot of these lately...) and I then realized that the reason all the houses in my neighborhood were dark was because THEY WERE ALREADY THERE!!!!!!! Why didn't they call me? Were there alarms? How could they leeeavve me behind!!!!!! Why didn't the stupid dogs bark and alert me that everyone was exiting the area??? Lord help us if there's ever a tornado!!!!
I'm guessing there were over 1000 people at Target. It was a wee bit surreal seeing absolutely NO signs of life, for a 10mile radius, then come up on the mob scene at Target. In the dark. Half asleep. A startling leap into lucidity for that time of the morning (at my age, I'm not even sure it's safe for that kind of jolt.)
But Hey! I'm no wimp... so I parked my car in the overflow lot, and armed with a thermos full of Amp and a bag full of donuts I merged in with the crowd and forged into the swarm, not really knowing what to expect...
It looked like the end of days. Shelves, empty, except for the few crumbs of packaging remnants and a stray dvd or two. People lined up arguing for a raincheck any raincheck, desperation showing on their faces for the last of the "gonnacatchonfireimsurebrand" DVD players, videocameras and batteries. I missed getting the last of the imaho dolls on sale for 4.99 (Gizmo will be crushed and in therapy for years I'm sure) and my son I'm sure will suffer back pain until the end of days since I lost the wrestling match for the last of the $33 videogame chairs. (But I did get an offhand offer to play for the local roller dearby team) Blank stares on faces of zombies pushing red carts to nowhere, clinging to a large starbucks and a stack of empty ad promises.... OH GOD I KNOW WHAT ARMEGEDDON LOOKS LIKE NOW!!!!
I grabbed the last of the half priced dirt devils and ran, with what little of my dignity I could gather up (not too much left at that after my ob appt last week), and on the way out managed to grab just a few things... only 42 dvds, 14 pairs of fluffy socks, 3 christmas shirts,4 mystery kitchen appliances, 8 blankets, an assortment of chapstick, 2 off brand digital cameras, some towels I think I can sell on e-bay, a Hello Kitty comforter, some clearance items I think I'm still going to have to ask around as to what they actually are, and a large latte extra milk, no whipped cream thank you very much I am in a hurry to get out I am so not into this. Really.
Now I have to figure out how to fit the gifts to the recipients, I ain't goin' back. No sir, it's not safe in thar. I did my time.
(I made my husband take me out for Mexican tonight and I got THREE margaritas. I earned 'em)
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4 comments:
You are so right! We must live in a parallel universe. Neither of us woke up in time for all the tip top madness and mayhem of Black Friday but we did make it out there.
Your Target was well stocked in the parking lot just as ours. Are we neighbors and not knowing it?
Next year only put your money and credit cards in your pockets. You might need your hands to fend off other shoppers or better yet to hold on to your loot. Carts have no place in a store during Black Friday.
My expedition did not have empty shelves and such but that might have happened in the areas I was not looking. Well, the TV deal was pretty much a mid isle thing in Grocery. Had it not been for that Giant of a man weeping I would not have known the TVs were ever there. That poor, poor Walmart man. I hope they paid him double time.
I do bow down to you, oh Shopper Pageant Mom, you at least purchased the Dirt Devils. Had I been more awake I might have purchased one for myself. I did think of the bag less vacs on sale this weekend. I just didn't have it in me to buy more house hold items as I did the last two years of Black Friday. What happened to the "Kids gotta have it" toys and such on super sale? This year the fads are pretty much the Wii or the new Elmo and no one has them on sale if they even have them in stock. My children want electric guitars (new and improved or signed by original band member) or skate boards (who knew they would go from $15 years ago to $150 now) and then there is American Girl dolls which never and I repeat never go on sale. So I am stuck with no Christmas gift Black Friday deals. What happened to Black Friday in just a few short years??
Well, you survived your first Black Friday Shopping! Here Here for Pageant Mom!
PS second opinion...Today Bear received a second opinion and he will live!! No cancer!!! Buggery! Buggery! Buggery!! and triple that on those meanies from the first diagnosis! :-)
sorry, I double posted and didn't know it until the page refreshed.
I spent Black Friday in my pajamas - IN MY HOUSE. I hate to shop as it is; there's no way I'm going out on a day like that!
Now here we are - three weeks before Christmas...
Chachi and I have picked up 1-2 things at a time for Nooze, and have a decent lode so far.
My biggest challenge is Chachi himself. He is over 6' tall - and BIG. He really needs clothes, but your average stores don't deal in "TALL". I may have to head to an outlet.
Next year, I am going to join a Christmas Club at our Credit Union. Maybe THAT will take some of the pressure off.
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