Sing along 'MONEYMONEYMONEY, MON-EY.... MON-EEEEEEEY!!!!'

LOL

I hate pageant registration. I love pageantry with my daughter, but honey, I HATE to part with my money.

I keep suffering under the delusion that my daughter can get a title by us just partially entering for titles in the paperwork. Now, again, I had been warned by several others that this pageant could go weird, but I'm one of those folks with a bit of residual seawater and beer from my college days still soaking in some of my brain cells. Not to mention, it takes a phd in "new math" to even figure out what the heck you entered, how they score it, and how it all really ends up.

Fortunately, there was no great big line to stand in and occupy a hyper 5 year old in... Pageantry has this kind of weird way to register, where at many pageants, each mother goes in to register one at a time. I think it is done that way so as each one goes in ALONE the director can put their different spin on hard selling to the mother to enter more events and thus part the poor woman from additional CASH. This causes the lines to back up down the hallway forever, or if you get on a sign up sheet, you can never really get settled to start preparing for the next day because you are constantly running back and forth to find out how close you are to getting your name called. It's great exercise though.

Getting back to this event, I know I made several major mistakes.

1) MISTAKE #1 WE SHOULD NOT HAVE GONE GIVEN ALL THE PREVIOUS TWO WEEKS RUNNING.
Giz & I were both tired, she hadn't practiced enough, and I didn't have any help.

2) MISTAKE #2 I NEVER HAD THE PAPERWORK FROM THE PREVIOUS LEVEL'S PAGEANT FROM THIS SYSTEM.

My computer was down in November and December, and I entered Giz as a last minute whim in the local level pageant for this system. So I never saw the proverbial fine print.

Digression for education's sake. 99% of the time if you win a grand supreme in the level pageant below the next, you get the supreme package for "free" at the next level. For example, if you win Grand Supreme (highest point total out of all the girls) at a local preliminary, you get your supreme package entry paid to State. Next, if you win your state Grand Supreme title, you get either the Mini-National or National supreme package paid.

I had been warned that this lady could get money out of a homeless person, but I didn't get a bad vibe from her so again, I plowed ahead. I really need to learn to use my ears more effectively.

Anyway. Giz had won a large title at the previous level pageant, and I paid a $150 deposit right there on the scene - out of her $500 bond, which is really only $250 - so we could get the earlybird pricing for the registration fee. "That's it" stated the director. She implied that was all we would owe. Again, I am not faulting her for what I'm about to divulge, I'm just mad at myself for being naive.

For this pageant, the pricing for the "earlybird" consisted of:

$395 registration fee - which went up $100 incrementally after Dec 1 up to $595)
$595 supreme package - which allowed you to compete in Natural beauty, Glitz beauty, one interview session (natural or glitz) and one black and white photo (natural or glitz)

To be eligible for grand supreme, you needed to have a cumulative Beauty,Interview, and Photo score.

So if you entered a glitz black and white photo, just doing the basic supreme package and registration fee, you would not be eligible for the Natural grand supreme title and if you entered a Natural black and white, conversely you would not be eligible for the glitz grand supreme.

What mother is going to spend almost $1000 and not have lil Suzie out of the running for grand? At a minimum the director will get another $75 out of you for at least ONE additional optional.

Next, there was $150 for "Overall titles" and she added "one point just for entering!". Again, what mother - who has now spent $1075 miniumum potentially plus travel expenses - wouldn't buy that extra point for their child?? Now we are up to $1225....

There were about 4 other optionals you could enter at $75 each - swimwear, composite card, Natural or Glitz photo (whatever you didn't enter in your basic supreme package) etc.

In her defense, the director was giving away a lot of supreme packages paid plus 2 hotel nights "free" (translation, you only have to pay registration fee less $200) but she didn't start offering this until the registration fee went up to $595.

So even if you took the best package at the worst time, and entered the minimum to be in the running for the basic titles plus the point added overalls it would cost:

$395 plus $150 plus $75 plus door badge $35 = $655

Skipping to the cliff's notes - if you entered EVERYTHING on the paperwork plus one extra picture (at $25 each) and you didn't have to pay the supreme package (say you got it free) it would have been somewhere around $1000. And if you DID have to pay any or all of the supreme package, it ended up between $1200 and $2000. I heard that some people ended up paying as much as $1800 in fees.

Return? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Who are we kidding? Even if you won ultimate grand, the payout was a $5000, which ended up being only $2500 in cash. Various titles below ended up anywhere from $100 to $1000 depending on what you won, and if you entered that event.

And to the director's defense, you'd be paying for two pageants - so much more cost efficient! Of sorts...

So here's what I walked in expecting.

$595 package paid plus $395 registration plus $150 for overalls $75 for an optional event and $35 for a door badge, oh and one extra picture $25. LESS $595 package paid less $100 "free hotel stay" less $150 I already paid.

I expected to pay $480.

So I get to the table and she adds it up and says I owe $580.

?? This is where it kinda broke down for me... (I expected to be sooo prepared LOL)

Okay, why?

Well, she says, Giz only won a $500 BOND towards her supreme package.
Oh. (now I'm at the mistake in not finding a copy of that damn paperwork) Okay.
So I say okay, go ahead and I pay the extra $100 thinking Gizmo was still in the running for the minimum items I had planned. (I actually considered backing out at that very moment which caused me to have an unclear head.) Again, I'm not faulting the director per se, but she could have made it clearer to me what we ended up in rather than looking at me like "oh you must be POOR."

AND I DID'T EVEN GET A RECEIPT. SO I STILL TO THIS DAY DON'T KNOW WHAT GIZ WAS ENTERED IN, BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT NEXT.

3) MISTAKE #3 EXPECTING THAT OUR COACH WOULD GIVE US SOME GOOD ADVICE AS TO WHICH PAGEANTS WOULD BE GOOD FOR MY CHILD, AND WHICH NOT

To be continued....